9 things that are cancelled for 2019
Thank u, next
2018 was a big one, a rollercoaster if you will. It’s time to hang out the bad, and never look back. Here are the things that are cancelled for this year if we want it to be a good one.
1. Expensive designer plastic shopping bags
We live in a world where people screw up their noses when asked to pay 10 cents for a plastic shopping bag, while paying $600 USD for the same exact bag with CELINE slapped across it is completely practical.
My handbag consists of old receipts I won’t need, expired parking tickets, and (un-used) tampons - all items I don’t really want the world spying with their naked eyes.
Plastic designer shopping bags - you are cancelled.
2. Everyone hating on Selena Gomez
Our heart breaks for Selena, not because Justin ended up marrying Hailee, but because of how much hate she receives online.
Early in 2018, she was labelled as ‘the most popular person on Instagram’, to only later announce a social media hiatus on the 24th of September, where she stated her reasons being ‘negative comments can hurt anybodies feelings, obvi’.
There are literally hundreds of forums out there full of haters and conspiracy theorists. Some claiming that Selena has empty warehouses in China constantly streaming her music on thousands of devices, to give her first place as the top streamed artist on Spotify.
Not to mention the disgusting trolling by Stefano Gabanna comparing Selena to an ‘ugly chipmunk’.
Leave the poor girl alone.
3. The bike shorts trend
Okay we don’t hate this one quite as much as the others, but we hate the camel toe that comes along with it. To avoid this, please only wear black bike shorts and wear it along with long jumpers and tops.
We’re forecasting this fad will be cancelled by April 2019.
4. Hiring your clothes instead of buying
Brands are dying, and boutiques are closing. Do your research on the impact this new trend is having on the Australian fashion industry before you hire.
If we keep going the same way, soon there won’t be any clothing to hire.
Please dear god make it stop, it’s worse than hearing ‘baby shark, do do do’ in your head over and over again.
It was never cool, and it never will be cool. And the fact Katy Perry is the one responsible for the worldwide phenomenon says enough.
6. Everyone ignoring animal cruelty in vain of Melbourne Cup
This one really grinds our gears, open your eyes people.
According to Race Horsing Kills, 119 race horses were killed on the track due to racing related injuries. Yeah we get it, they had to be put down because they had broken something, but how do you think that poor horse came to be injured in the first place?
We thankfully saw a huge trend in the hashtag #NupToTheCup, which can be used when a group of friends boycott going to the racecourse, and instead come together to drink wine without celebrating animal cruelty or making bets.
Melbourne Cup, you are cancelled.
This November, the phenomenon of 'blackfishing' went viral — the term was added to Urban Dictionary as a ‘white women using makeup to pose as Black online’. The culprits use heavy doses of Bondi Sands and foundation 10 shades darker than their natural skin tone, to make them appear mixed race, usually in order to appeal to brands for sponsorships and paid posting.
Not only is it a 2018 version of ‘black face’, but it is just downright disrespectful and violating.
8. Futuristic dad sneakers
Okay, we’re embarrassed to say that we kind of ‘hate to love’ this one.
Dad shoes got their name thanks to their retro appearance - looking like they’ve just come straight out of your papa’s 80’s wardrobe. It screams comfort over chic, and that’s okay by us.
We’re kind of hoping this one falls out of trend closer to the end of 2019 rather than the start.
9. Using the term ‘weird flex but okay’
No caption needed.
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